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THE BEST CLUBBING FASHION DISASTERS - 20 FEBRUARY 2009 |
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Friday, 20 February 2009 16:08 |
| | | When it comes to clubbing we all have our ‘Do’s and Don’ts about what to wear when going on a night on the town, and in some cases these are verbal arguments that are not voiced. If you find it hard to comprehend what would be a fashion fuck up, try and picture yourself in the ladies or men’s department getting what you need. And from the corner of your eye you see an individual for instance a man in his late 20’s early 30’s picking out a Speedo for the summer festivities at the beach. You get the idea I’m laying across to you, don’t you? You just don’t do those types of things no matter how groovy it looked when it wasn’t thought to be a major fashion fuck up. In most cases everyone has their own perception and ideas on what fashion is and should be. But in the bigger scheme of things it all comes down to whether you want your kids to think you were a complete retard or whether you were beyond Awesome. We have taken it upon ourselves at Mr Spencer HQ to give you the low down on what’s no where near shtylin. |  | Johnny Bravo’s
Now don’t get me wrong, I love to be patriotic and all when it comes to a good game involving the Boks or Man U. If it’s going to be a pub party then I’ll keep it a pub party and not taking to the club. Everything has its place in the dance and sports social community, so let’s flipping keep it that way. |  | Fanny Flappers
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now this brings back scary visions of my own father scoring a fanny pack whilst we were on holiday in Cape Town in 1996. Yes I couldn’t agree more what the fuck was the inventor thinking, ‘This will be the best way to make all those asses who ripped me off in college to know who’ll be the dumbass for wearing my cheesy accessory’. Cue: evil laugh. So plainly put what was cool in the 90’s should remain in the vault of past cool accessories. |  | The Shady Bunch
In every club no matter where in the country there always happens to be the Shady Bunch. Who is the Shady Bunch you ask, well that’s the group of dweebs who insult the dance floor by going out clubbing all wearing a pair of normal dark shades or shutter shades. Let alone wearing their shades on the dance floor where the most amount of light allows you sight of a friend for no more then even 1.5 seconds, then their gone. If these amoebas don’t want to be seen by the massive then ‘stay at home’. |  | Mohican slippers
It seems apparent that over time the fashion of sporting a pair of white moccasins out to the club has risen to an uncontrollable epidemic. Every single Mohawk toting bru spitting bruv has a pair and is in no way ashamed to flash them in your face. But, being a viewer and fellow clubber, I’m NOT sorry boys but let’s chill for a mo and really think about this one. NO, no, no and no. |  | Criminal Crocs
Okay, now this fad that has polluted our streets let alone attempted invading the thresh hold of our sanctum (the club). Why? Please will anyone tell me what drives an individual to actually go out and purchase a pair? No matter, crocs are shoes made for people with back problems and uncomfortable shoes. That still doesn’t make a difference when it comes down to going out and looking better then the next Disco bunny. |  | Elfish Tipped Shoes
Now in the ‘city of gold’ it has become apparent and obvious that when in formal and casual formal attire pointy tipped shoes are a fascination. These shoes are well suited with a comfortable pair of flair or boot leg jeans or one of your best Armani 3 piece suits. But tell me what do your feet feel and smell like once you get home and have taken them off. And I’m sure ladies it’s not one of the most alluring smells you look forward to when you get back from a night out. Let’s take note that foot powder can do so much. |  | Osama Gym Towels
The last time I saw these scarves being fashioned was on TV during desert storm when Yassir Arafat was addressing George Bush snr on the war. And honestly that was a long time ago it seems, but the cultures of the East have come back to haunt us. And to make it worse it’s still summer here in Africa and their being sported by almost half the delusional mass of society. |  | Trucker + Beer = Mullet
Okay, so it’s not mathematics but it gives you an idea of what I’m trying to get across to you. The mullet my dear Spencerites was made popular by the famous country singer Billy Ray Cyrus between the 80’s and 90’s. Yes, we’re wondering the same thing what the bleep was he thinking when he let his barber touch his hair. Well as you can see the Mullet makes our number 3 on the list. |  | Sex Pistol Jeans
If I’m not mistaken the 70’s band named the Sex Pistols achieved what we would consider a Debauchery of fashion. They popularised the wearing of Skinny jeans, the next level into denim spandex. These types of things look wonderful on the female persuasion, but for some reason our male comrades have taken to it as well. You read what I said; ‘guys are also wearing these jeans out on the town’. I’m sure the package doesn’t feel the same after a run in those denim pantyhose. And besides it just looks wrong on guys. C’mon! |  | Bosveld Casual
If you own a shirt like that you know who you are. This is what some would call a safari suit or a Boere’s best. Without a doubt this attire is a plain straight ‘HELL MOTHERF*&$ING NO’. This is without a doubt the most unbelievable throw together Tupperware get up that belongs where it should be, in the veld. If the theme of the party is safari, then by all means please do but that’s not really happening right now. And like Kumar said, ‘Thank you, come again’. | | | |
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